I feel like crapola. This frickin cold has kicked my booty!! It's C O L D as hell. I know I shouldn't whine about 40* but when it's 84* one day and then 40* the next, it literally throws ya for a loop. The drivers on the road this morning were Whacked!!! Season has arrived in full force and brought the snowbirds in flocks. BEWARE of cars with out of state license plates. I swear I dont know how people miss a 50' bright yellow monster bus with black stripes and big flashing lights, but it happens everyday 20 times a day! And everyone is in a bigger hurry then I am and goes to whatever lengths necessary to keep from being behind me. I can't get a parking spot in front of my own building anymore. With what I pay for this place I should have my own spot!! But Nooooooo I gotta park and could use a freakin shuttle I am so far away. No fun when I have a trunk full of groceries. I wanted to make Beef Stew for dinner. I started it yesterday and had to stop to go to my moms and tonight I have a field trip that I won't be home from until after 10pm. Which incidently is past my bedtime due to the ungawdly hour I have to wake up in the morning. Normally I would be excited about my field trip, extra hours is always a good thing. But since I feel like dookiebeans I would rather come home and sleep. I need to take a nap today cause I haven't been sleeping at night. Wasting my only quiet alone time on sleep ticks me off but is a necessary evil.
I feel out of sorts lately. Just kind of out of control of my life. I get like this every now and then. I know this too shall pass, just wish I knew what to do to make it happen sooner. I need to balance my checkbook, clean out my car, pay bills and get rid of the wicked sickies.
I will take one moment at a time like I always do and have faith that soon I will feel like myself. Until then whining and venting feels kinda good.
My addiction, my fuel, my go go juice. I have sustained life without food for hours and hours on this stuff. I credit it with my college education. 2 full time jobs and a full credit load for 3 years. It kept me awake and alert when sleep was not an option. It cures a tension headache better then half a bottle of tylenol. Nothing else can take the edge off a stressful long night quite the same.
Back in the days of youthfully naive lifestyles, I never would have considered kicking my addiction. As I have gotten wiser and fallen into the age of being healthy and all that crap lol The time has come to free myself of this 20 + year addiction.
The question remains..How?? How am I going to resist the cravings? When its hotter then Hades and nothing quenches my thirst, how will I manage without it?
That icy cold sweetness that soothes and quenches will certainly be missed. But I shall survive. I will resist the temptation for a healthier me.
At 4 :30am even hehe Road trip this morning. This is for an East Coast soccer tournament this time. Get to stick my toes into the Atlantic Ocean <prolly only my toes too its cold!!>
When I get back I will start posting my blog research. With all the recent hype on tBlog being down so much and everyone talking about moving, well I have copied my blog to 6 different blogging sites this week. It has been an interesting journey. I will go into detail upon my return.
I am a loyal employee, I do my job very well, I am always punctual and always willing to help pick up the slack from our ever short handed profession.
Yesterday I called in sick, because well I am sick. Daily I am responsible to safely deliver 240 kids from home to school and back again. Catchin cooties is a job hazard. Happens to all of us due to exposure. This is my 2nd bout of cooties this school year. 2 weeks after school started was the first time. <happens every year> We were so short handed that I went to work even when I knew I shouldn't have. I was sick and miserable for 2 straight weeks. Ended up with Bronchitis and a hefty doctor and Rx bill to boot. I attribute that to not getting enough sleep and my inability to take any type of medication to help my symptoms due to the nature of my job.
So this time I decide to try a different approach. I called off yesterday and doped myself up on anti-hystemines and attempted to sleep the day away. Good plan I thought. Maybe I can avoid getting so sick this time.
12:00 pm my phone rings waking me up, it is my dispatcher calling. Asking me to come into work. Yep asking me to come to work. Mind you I have been a walking coughing stuffy mess since Monday and she knew it. The desperation was obvious in the tone of her voice. I hesitates for a good 45 seconds pondering the idea of actually going in. I can't believe I actually considered it!! But then I said to myself "What the hell are you thinkin?" I mustered up all my nerve and said No, I am sick and I don't feel I can preform my job safely at this time. I did the right thing. We are given sick leave for a reason. To use when we are sick, right?
So why then did I feel guilty for my decision? Shouldn't my loyalties lie with ME!! Is it not my right to properly tend to my health and well-being? I should have stayed home today as well. I feel worse again because I can't take the meds to help manage the symtoms. But as I paced the floor this morning after a restless night, I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone and make that call. It was easier just to suck it up and go to work.
Apparently there is a hot selling Valentines Bear onthe market.
The bear is sporting a straight jacket with a big read heart and is being affectionatly called the "Crazy for You" bear. He even comes with commitment papers and is meant to convey out-of-control love, or so "most" of us would think.
"We recognize that this is a sensitive, human issue and sincerely apologize if we have offended anyone," "That was certainly not our intent. This bear was created in the spirit of Valentine's Day, and as with all of our bears, it was designed to be a light-hearted depiction of the sentiment of love."The Virginia Teddybear Co.
Cute concept, right?? Well apparently not such a cute concept with a bunch of folks with way too much time on their hands. When the world is facing natural catastrophies of epic proportion, some righteous idiots have to strike up a protest that something created without malicious intent is "a tasteless use of marketing that stigmatizes persons with mental illness." Just who are the crazy ones anyway???
Yep, I got em again. 2nd time since school started. Can't imagine why.
It's not like I am exposed to approx. 240 kid cooties a day in a confined space lol Ok so yeah I am! All that coughin and sneezin with recycled air = recycled cooties!!
It still amazes me that technology can clone, cure, test tube and stem cell etc... But they can't make a decent medication to combat cold symtems. I would just like to be able to sleep for more then an hour at a time.
And to make matters worse, tomorrow is another road trip day!! No rest for the weary. The good news is 48 hours and I oughta feel much better
I'm sharing this graphic picture of an overdose victim not for shock value,
but rather in the hope that you will have a frank discussion with friends
and family about respecting moderation, understanding limits, and knowing
when to just walk away - especially now that the holidays are over.
Why does it seem to take tradgedy and sadness to make me remember how precious every moment of every hour of every day is??
To lose a friend who was too young to pass, who left behind a young family and a slew of friends. To stand at a memorial service and realise that it could be me that people are mourning.
I understand death. I have my ideas of what happens. It is the grief and sadness of the living that forces it home.
Today... I will hug my children extra tight. I will love closer. I will smile more and I will absorb the moments I am blessed with now. For this moment, could very well be my last.
I had an inservice for work today. Always 5 + hours of sheer boredom. But they pay me for it and serve coffee and bagels, so who can complain.
Much to my surprise they introduced us to a new work philosophy. Based on a video from a Fish Company that uses 4 basic principals to improve business, maintain loyal staff and encourage return patronage. The 4 steps are easy. Fun, Make their day, Be there and Choose your attitude. They call it F I S H ironically.
Most of these I put into motion in my own life. I try to always have fun via humor and interaction. Being a people person makes it easier to try making someones day. It can be as simple as a heartfelt "Nice to see you". Being there is simply living in the moment, paying attention when your interacting with someone and trying not to daydream or plan dinner in your head while interacting. Listening and eye contact conveys this real well. My favorite step in this philosophy is the Choose Your Attitude part.
It is so easy to get sucked into feeling blue when life isn't rolling the way we like. Or losing patience quickly when we didn't get enough sleep last night. Or how about taking out frustrations of a mundane job on a co-worker, just because we can. The guy behind me in traffic feels it is his duty to take his anger out on me by cutting me off or even fliping me off, not realizing that the traffic is no more my fault then his.
When I wake up in the morning, I make the choice to be happy. Despite the stresses and frustrations I encounter. *an boy do I have my share* Worry solves nothing but making me feel lousy. The outcome will be the same no matter how much I fret over something. So why not put on a smile and share it? Smiles are more contageous then yawns I think. And way more fun to share.
I admit it isn't always possible or easy. But it is worth it to me to try. Not for those around me as much as for my own well being and happiness
Our team ran thru last season undefeated. Even though the boys should be playing in the U 11 bracket this year, their coach moved them up to U12 in an attempt to challenge them. They met that challenge by running thru this season undefeated, against boys who were on most cases at least a head taller and a year faster then they are. Some of their games were such blow-outs that the coach would place restrictions on them like "no shooting on goal with your right foot" this when the score of the game was 10 - 0 in our favor at halftime. We traveled along way this weekend to find competition. We found that competition, and although all 3 of our coaching staff and all the parents agreed we needed the challenge, they didn't all handle it as one would hope.
Our coach send a letter of reminder to all of us this morning. And here is the response I sent to him.
Coach,
This is a novel that might be best read not at work due to length.
The expectation of this weekend was to be challenged for a change and in that you did wonderfully. I saw the weekend as a huge success. I think we saw at region cup last year the same effect when faced with competition after a long run of being victorious that happened this weekend, except this time the boys stepped up to the challenge instead of buckling under it. A positive achievement. Walking away with every game you play is not the way to develop, which I think is the reason we all commit to doing this every weekend of the year. Or at least the reason we should be doing it.
What I was reminded of this weekend is that it is very tough to mix business and family and expect to have it go smoothly. The word family meaning our soccer family, after 3 years we have certainly become one.
Everyone brings their own unique character to this family which is what makes such a great dynamic. Just as is the case with the team having 3 coaches. Coach Jane is the nurturing mother figure to soothe the bumps and lumps when needed, Coach Bob is the tough demanding "Quit whining and play" one, and you being the positive reinforcement constructive balance to it all. I think the boys benefit from each of you in a different way as I am sure they respond to you all in a different way. As a parent, I know this first hand as I too respond to each of you in a different way.
"Where is she going with this?" you ask.
All that to say this. Immediately after the 5:30 pm Oldsmar game, my kids father was approached by coach Bob and spoken to about Our son. The jest of the conversation was that Our Son did not play up to what is "expected" of him, therefore he sat the bench when his team needed him and the game was lost. And that "HE" needs to talk to his son. These thoughts were also said to be coming from you.
At some point I am going to share my thoughts on this happening with Coach Bob as I am sharing them with you now, but this weekend was NOT the right time. For a few obvious reasons lol
As Our Sons mom, I am very aware of his ability on the soccer field. When he is on his game it is something just short of spectacular. I am also aware that attached to that ability is an inexperienced boy who is learning the ropes in a grown up atmosphere. I am smart enough to know, just as you are, within the first 5 minutes of a game or less whether he is "on" or not. Not only do I watch the game, but I pay attention to what is said to him during the game, his behavior on the sidelines and especially his attitude. I do this in an attempt to support you after the game, in a sense reinforcing the lessons you teach. With him I am focused more on helping him mentally handle things, not so much his physical game. Being that is where he seems to struggle the most. I have seen improvements. Without even having heard the conversation, my ride home conversation with Our Son was based on his not digging deep and doing what HE knows he is capable of.
None of us enjoy criticism in general and when it is directed at our kids, well that isn't easy to swallow either. I totally agreed that Our Son needed to be on the bench that second game. He was exhausted from the 60 minutes on the field just 90 minutes prior in a very intense game. He also knows why he was sitting. I did not hear the entire conversation between My sons father and Bob. I became involved when my kids father asked my advise on how to deal with it. Not so much what to do about it as how to handle the feelings that it prompted within him.
We all share giant expectations for our kids, that is our job as parents. We push them to achieve the best at all they do. When our kids don't meet those expectations, whose fault is that? The kids for not meeting them? Or maybe ours, for setting our sights so high? I take a deep breath and remind myself of this often. Much like you, I focus on the positive achievements, the lesson learned and the improvements since last time and how to help for next time.
The moral of this story is that it isn't usually the message, but the way that message is presented. My advise to my kids father was just that. Weed thru the way you receive the words and focus on the message itself. Each of us respond differently to different messengers.
Thank you for the lessons learned and for pushing us to be the best we can be.
Jan 9 Blackwatch Tampa,FL
Jan 15-16 Treasure Coast Tournament Stuart, FL
Jan 22 West Palm Scrimmage
Jan 29 West Pines Scrimmage
Feb 5 Countryside Tampa, FL
Feb 12 Pending
Feb 19 Cape Coral Scrimmage
Feb 26-27 Division 1 Region Cup Oldsmar, FL
